Sauceless; a tale of loose meat

Several months ago, I relayed to you, my readers, the long and sordid history of my experience with loose meat sandwiches. This past weekend, after years of avoiding the Iowa loose meat mecca, Maid Rite, I gave in and decided it was time to try the native cuisine. Of course, I hauled my Chicago suburbanite Hubs along with me.

Like a kid at Christmas, Hubs unwrapped his Cheese-Rite (that's loose meat with a slice of Kraft!).

Many, many things disturbed me at Maid Rite:

• One item on the menu was the Carb-Rite Cup. That's a cup of loose meat and loose meat only. Maybe a pickle.
• You get a spoon with your burger. You know, to spoon up the meat particles that escape from the burger.
• The fries were incredibly good, which means I might return to Maid-Rite, but only for fries.
• After you finish your burger, your table is strewn with beef litter. Tiny reminders of the loose meat that was.

My First Loose Meat Sandwich. This belongs in a scrap book.

My first bite of a loose meat sandwich went down like this: I got a slice of pickle in that bite and it was covered in meatlets. Almost as if the pickle had been breaded in beef bits. It was not awesome. Not. At. All. I gag just remembering it.

Me and my spoon of beef crumbles.

Can you defend loose meat? Is it legal to bring my own can of Manwhich to Maid Rite?