Knitja unmasked

A while back, I had the delusion that I could whip up two ruched, West Elm knock-off blankets in time for Christmas. I ordered 26 skeins of worsted mushroom colored yarn and got to knitting.

100 hours and at least one million stitches later, I finally had one blanket that a full-sized human could properly snuggle beneath. I can reveal it to you now because no one got these for Christmas. I only finished one and it became a birthday present for my mom  whose birthday is conveniently two weeks after Christmas (Happy birthday! I hope mail-arrival time is prior to blog-reading time, Mom. If not, well then - surprise!), which is perfect for harried, hand-crafting daughters. 

 Poor Hubs' mom won't be getting hers until March, assuming I can stay on top of my game. But, I think it's totally worth the wait. I mean, look how pretty!

So, my first blanket is in the books. It took a LOT longer than I had anticipated, but it was a good and simple pattern so I only collapsed in frustration once. 

I used this pattern and was really happy with the simplicity of it. It was definitely an easy project to do while carrying on conversations, watching TV or flying. Some projects are so complex with the counting and the intricate stitches that I need near silence to make progress, but this was just garter, garter, garter, knit, pearl, knit and voila!

What's the biggest DIY present you've ever given? Was it on time? Teach me your secrets!

Knitja

Living out of town from all my family is good for one thing: stealthy holiday knitting projects. I imagine that if my mom lived 20 minutes away, she'd be apt to stop by and more likely than not, she would catch a glimpse of my top-secret holiday knitting. With her safely a 16-hour drive away, I'm free to leave my yarn and needles scattered throughout the house with not a care in the world.

(Note to family: am I knitting you something? Or is this a giant ploy to steer you in the wrong direction? Only time will tell.)

I'm super jazzed about my next stealthy, yarn-fueled endeavor. I found an awesome (and free! and easy!) pattern on Ravelry and can't wait to get my knit on, yo. I'm hoping these are easy to crank out because I really, very much would like one for myself.

I'm considering your interest to be piqued, readers. As such, I will share details and the pattern post-holidays. Unless you are a knitter and looking for a simple but face-meltingly awesome gift to give, in which case, leave your email in the comments and I will pass this pattern your way, too.

Also, can we just take a moment and admire the post title here? I'm bizarrely proud of it. (What do you call a sneaky knitter? A knitja. A knitting ninja. Hiiiiii-yaaaa!)

Socktastic

Notice anything different about our beloved faux-tle (again, a faux mantle - why isn't this catching on?)?

Before and After - what's new, aside from much better lighting?

Hell yeah I made that fifth stocking! Is it awesome? Yes. Is it the perfect size for a bathtub-pooping cat? Of course. Was it insanely easy because I totally cheated and made two flat sides and then sewed them together? You bet your sweet little rump it was, sunshine.

I used this Lion Brand Yarn pattern (for the sock only and with thicker yarn that it asked for. I'm a little nervous of duplicate stitching right now and also was too cheapcoldlazy to go out and buy the yarn I would have needed to put the fancy cat outline on there. So when I say "followed" I mean "was inspired by.") and it only took a few hours. I made up the little Christmas trees myself (sans pattern, thankyouverymuch. To commemorate this madcap dash into rebelry, I might do something really crazy next. Like steep my tea an extra minute or even two. LOOK OUT DES MOINES.).

Now, I've got a few top secret knitting projects to finish up and maybe I'll even make some more little pet stockings so they all match (because. You Know. I'm kind of going batty over the lack of a cohesive family stocking brand on the faux-tle (fake mantle!). That extra minute of tea steep-age clearly wound me too tightly.

What's your big, triumphant Christmas craft? I know you have one.

An obsession, a rant and a coined term

Last year, I hadn't yet taken my knitting classes at Ephemera (which, by the way, might have been the single best present ever - thanks Hubs!), but I was obsessed with big, bulky yarns. They looked so pretty all twisted up and just waiting to become something that I couldn't resist - I had to create. (Did I just sound artsy? That's what I was going for. Cue the beret, dim lights and smoldering eyes of a brooding artiste.)

Naturally, having no known knitting ability and an intense desire to BUY YARN (I'm so. so. so hip.), I went on a yarn-wrapping tirade. If it didn't move, it got wrapped in yarn. It sounds insane, and it was for a few days - a mad flurry of hot glue wisps and strands of Thick and Quick flying around me while I tried hopelessly to keep the cat away from my masterpieces.

So anyway, it turned out quite nice (pour a little out for my homey, the basement drywall, featured in that post) and I even got a nod from the most famous green living blogger ever to come out of the great state commonwealth of Pennsylvania, Danny Seo.

This year, the yarn-wrapped decor is making a comeback on our stylish faux-tle (that's a faux mantle, y'all. Couldn't you tell?).

 Pardon our mail pile and hid.e.ous light fixture. A sleek new drum pendant is my present to myself once we finish the basement, so just chillax.

It only holds 15 pounds, but the yarn trees are styrofoam underneath that skillfull wrapping and we've got a few Christmas-morning hanging spots for when these little stockings are chock full of goodies.

Notice also the nativity, lantern of lights and 12-bottle wine rack stuffed to the brim with sweet, sweet Charles Shaw.

Note: I know there are only four stockings and yet five souls residing in our humble home. I'm trying to knit the new cat a sock, but know this: Knitting your First Sock less than a month before Christmas and with the knowledge that it will be Highly Visible as a major part of your Holiday Decor is NOT recommended.

Unless you, too, are the owner of a big ol' wine rack stocked full of three buck chuck. Then, it might be bearable. I take zero responsibility for your actions and/or fits of yarn rage when you get to the heel. Heels are not easy, people. Heels make grown women weep openly.

The End.

Hot, hot knits

Literally. My beloved side project, Happy Hour Homemakers, got an order from our one and only (and therefore best and most awesome) client for thirteen scarves. THIRTEEN!

 

Now our darling client was planning ahead and only wants these by Christmas, but fate has aligned our stars so that these will likely be finished before the Fourth of July.

• I’ve got plane rides next week, four of them in fact, to move my rump from its current position on my couch to Cancun, Mexico. And seeing as how I am the woman who once spent nine hours panicking in a stall of LAX, terrified to board a plane for New Zealand lest I end up a corpse in an ocean, being slowly eaten by the supposed angels of the sea – well, distractions are certainly welcome as I swoop up and down over North America in a most unnatural way.
• Once at my destination, my only job is to lounge and eat musk melon.
• By nature, I’m wired to do a little more than that, so while my traveling companions nap and swim, I’ll be knitting.

Seriously, who takes 15 skeins of yarn on a tropical vacation?

 

*Also, who makes some of these vidoes? Bad techno and pixelated new agey dolphin art? Goodnight, America.

Hats off!

Tonight, I learned how to do some serious knitting at Ephemera, thanks to the darling Jen! Hats are my next challenge and I've got to say, my first attempt was a tad sad.

Trip, my only willing model.

Hats and really any circular knitting require circular needles (surprise!) and then, as the hat gets tinier at the top, you move to the devilish double pointed needles - FIVE of them in fact. Whew, I was definitely biting my tongue and possibly glistening (a lady never sweats!) figuring these bad boys out.

I'm hoping to get cracking on a person-sized hat next!

Knitting nemesis

As a new knitter, I get a little slaphappy when I wander down the yarn aisle at Michael's or Hobby Lobby. In my quest to knit myself a sweet lacy spring scarf, I strayed from my standby yarn - Lion Brand Wool Ease. It's getting warmer and I really don't need such hefty stuff. So, I went for something much thinner with some crazy flecks.

Glorious!

Oh, I loved it. It would look so perfect and fresh. But then, my yarn turned on me.

In a violent coup, the yarn began to knot and separate in all the wrong places. I wrestled with it, biting my tongue in frustration as I tried to knit two stitches together and kept breaking through the yarn. I even called in reinforcements in the form of Trip and hubs to take revenge on the offensive yarn and untangle it respectively.

I had bought two skeins, so I just gave up on the first. The yarn was overworked and covered in cat spit.

Enter skein two.

It's not a perfect ball of yarn, but it's much more well behaved than its comrade. A few splits and a few less-than-ladylike words later and I've got a half-finished, totally wonky and bizarre scarf. I will not stray from the good yarn again.

Disclaimer: I do not spend all waking hours warring against inanimate objects. Just a few. You do it, too, I bet.

Bunt in the oven

What gets your St. Pat's-lovin', beer-guzzlin' engine goin'? Is it knitted bunting flags? Well, great.
How convenient, that you, my esteemed reader have such a soft spot for knitted bunting flags as I. You see, I've spent the past few weeks lovingly knitting these little guys in anticipation of our annual St. Pat's pah-tay.
Because what says, "I want to honor my Irish ancestors" quite like knitted flags. For that matter, what else screams, "Tap that keg; kiss me I'm Irish; woooo hoo, got my party dress on!" quite like this little handicraft? Nothing I've ever seen, that's darn tootin'.

(Question: how many missin' Gs can I include in one post?)

I must confess, I did take a shortcut on this project. You see, I was supposed to do an applied icord to attach the individual flags together, but that's like, really hard. I tried a bazillion times and was getting quite cantankerous. So, I knit a super long icord and then stitched it to each flag. And you can't even tell the difference. That's my kind of shortcut - the invisible one.

For those of you who knit, any tips on doing an applied icord? Any videos that don't stink? (And because I hate to leave anyone out) For you non-knitters, how you livin'?

Yarn love

I'm a huge fan of the Daily Danny blog. It's full of awesome ideas for upcycling and making something beautiful. A few weeks ago, he asked for some reader ideas for turning janky old Goodwill mugs into something worthy of admiration. I threw out my favorite craft-standby: wrap that thing in yarn! When in doubt, smothering any object in yarn will probably give you something that looks just homemade enough to be sweet while not being too Martha-esque.

Well, he liked that idea! He liked it the most! I was so flattered because people were giving really awesome ideas (chalkboard painted herb gardens, mosaics, wall art, organizers...really cool stuff). So, if you're stopping by by way of Danny's post: welcome!

I've spent the past few nights fighting with some St. Patrick's Day decorations, so I'm hoping I can crack that mess tonight and share a simple knitting project soon. At least I can feel like I have the backing of a professional if I cave and just wrap the whole project in layers of chunky wool.

Green, mean craftin' machine

With Valentine’s Day safely behind us, it’s time to get crackin’ on decking the halls for my favorite holiday of the year: St. Pat’s. Having spent six months “studying” in Cork, Ireland, I have a serious nostalgia for that silly little island and it pangs me especially hard on March 17th. And what better cure for nostalgia pangs than crafts? Am I right? Can I get an amen? A-men!

Ahem.

I’m going to start by sprucing up our fireplace with some bunting, like this, but decidedly more Irish:

Photo

But, wait! I found some knitted bunting that melts my little ruddy face with awesomeness.

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I couldn't resist. This project is already started. My flags are a little taller and more narrow and I currently only have two, but these pupies fly off the needles, so I'll be set in no time!

Why, is that a festive swizzle stick in your drink? You know it.

Photo

My knitted coozies are also getting better, so maybe I'll whip up a few to keep our Murphy's cold (even though we drink them from pint glasses, lovingly pilfered and imported by yours truly, and never ever from the can because of that little foam-producing magic ball thingy).

And I want to get many kinds of crafty on the table. Maybe even spray paint something. Ooo girl, get crazy!

Do you get crafty and homemakery for random holidays?

Fancy fingerwork

Dear readers, please meet Scarf Number Five.

It's OK, I see that hole, too. Not only do I see it, but (gasp!) it was planned!

Oo la la, oui? This fancy patterned number is heading to STL to delight (and hopefully not confuse) my Nana for her birthday. Who wouldn't be thrilled with this yummy chocolate keyhole scarf? If such a lady exists, I hope we never cross paths.

With my confidence bolstered, I'm hoping to whip up a few more patterned scarves this week. I really can't stop.

Scarves near and far

Another lovely scarf off the needles! This one is for my buddy Brittney (aka the lady of the manor/wrangler of the Chiweenies at Our Poverty with a View). It's pink, if my amazing photography skills are beyond your eyes' grasp.

In case you haven't figured it out yet, 80% of people I know will likely be sporting these scarves in the next year (if they know what's good for them).

Up next, one for my Nana's birthday! This one involves an actual pattern, requiring concentration and counting, which I have yet to fully comprehend. Details or wild, maniacal ranting to follow.

Stand by your man(doline)

Hooray! When I came home from work, check out what I found:A lovely Valentine's Day swap package from Ms. Faith at Poppycock and Sunshine! All part of the second annual V-Day swaparoo from Amanda at First Milk. I got two lovely House Helpers, thoughfully knit in a cheery yellow to match my kitchen, which has appearded in this blog a time or two. Faith even sent the pattern so I could make more of these cute little guys.

A super cute card.

And, oh yes, a CD of Italian mandolines. Bellisimo!

Turtle neck warmth

(Wheel of Fortune, before and after...anyone? Anyone? OK.)

Below, the scarf I finished en route to Tejas by way of MO. It's now traveling to Maryland, to my mom, making this the second most well-traveled scarf I have ever had in my possession. Congrats, purple scarf!

Below, Bingo the turtle. Bingo just had a birthday - the big 1-9. Bingo was known as Tennessee for the first 15 years of life. I got him for free when I used to sell classified ads at the paper (oh, the life of glamour I once led!). This was before I Googled red-eared sliders and discovered they live for upwards of 70 years. Happy birthday to my accidentally lifelong turtle partner!

Swip swap swak

I think I found Amanda's lovely blog via A Practical Wedding (the only wedding-related blog to remain in my reader post-big day). So, when she announced her second annual Valentine's Day swap, I e-mailed her right away to hop in on the fun. I started crafting a pretty swell little gift last night, but I thought you might like to see my first attempts:
Yikes, right? Don't worry, these koozies won't be making their way into any unsuspecting swaplet's mailboxes anytime soon. I'll be keeping them safe in my koozie drawer (yes, really. An entire drawer.) where no one will judge them.
But, I'm pretty sure there is a future here, I just need thinner yarn and more knitting prowess. Everyone loves koozies, right?

I make stuff!

This past weekend, while it was a nearly tropical 40 degrees and an equally tropical monsoon-ish type thing here in the Great State of Iowa, I managed to finish my first scarf (with the help of instructions from class, knittinghelp.com and a few YouTube videos, because I just couldn’t grasp the whole bind off movement). Here the old girl is, in all her neck-warming glory:

I have to admit, I’m pretty smitten with knittin’. It’s the most calming hobby I’ve ever had, aside from napping. You just sit back and twiddle your thumbs and voila – you made something worth wearing in public. I think that is saying something. The last time I wore something I made in public, it was definitely tie-dyed and totally signed by all my BFFs (because we won’t count the time I spilled soup on my white shirt at work and sported a nice tomato stain all afternoon right? Right.).

Another statistic

If I were a betting woman, I'd wager that 97.5% of bloggers write a post at about this time making known their resolutions and plans for the next 365 days. Because I'm such an on-again/off-again member of the blogging world, I figured I'd spare you all the lofty goals and ambitions of a whole year and stick to the next few weeks.

1. Marathon levels of craftiness. In January, I'm taking a calligraphy workshop (at Ephemera here in Des Moines) AND a beginner's knitting class (also at Ephemera). I'm also plotting a three day weekend in which I redecorate our side entry way and hallway.

Um, yep. One thing. But it has subthings!

I've never knit (knitted?) before and my handwriting is wildly unpredictable. Also, painting is one of those things I think I like, but soon I realize I don't. Like butter pecan ice cream or ellipticals. But, with grad school behind me, my brain is itching to learn new things. My poor eyes are tired of blonde pine and cream walls. So, knit and calligraph (?) and paint I shall!

I'll report from the front lines of craftiness as all this transpires. Happy New Year!