In which I eat cookies in the name of proper blogging

Yesterday, I came to you with cookies-in-progress. Today, we have cookies-eaten. Here are the stats:

Hours since dough-making: 24
Frozen dough yield: 5 dozen +  four (-two, consumed frozen)
First bake yield: six cookies
Second bake yield: four cookies

Cookie ranking system:
1: Would not eat again, even if someone else baked for me. Cookie failure.
2: Would eat again, if baked for me. Would not have seconds.
3: Would ask half-hearted-ly for recipe if cooked for me. Would not actually bake.
4: Would bake for myself. Would probably screw the recipe up due to consumption of two glasses of red wine.
5: Would bake for myself. Would pay attention during baking process.
6: Would bake for myself. Would share leftovers with co-workers. (aka Threshold for Sharing << a pivotal point in this ranking system)
7: Would bake for a party. Would eagerly anticipate praise.
8: Would bake regularly, hoping the recipe became a signature dish.
9: Potential to over-bake this cookie. Over-baking in this case = baking these cookies like all the time, not baking until burnt.
10: Boo-yah. Cookie nirvana.

First bake cookies (the dough right after being refrigerator for 24 hours): 3 - cookies were dry, puffy and wicked lame.

Second bake cookies (after dough had been frozen for two hours): 7 - cookies were more melty, less puffy, mo' bettah.

Frozen dough: 10 - frozen cookies are available for on-the-spot consumption AND freshly-made 7s are available within 15 minutes.

Five hot cookies and two frozen cookies later, you're welcome.

Boatload of cookies

Right now, chilling in my fridge, I have approximately five pounds of cookie dough. Per One Lovely Life, this lump of rawness will soon become the tastiest chocolate chip cookies this side of the Mississippi. Yep, I'm jumping on the bandwagon (thank you, Pinterest!) and making the New York Times chocolate chip cookies.

Here's my beef so far with this recipe: the dough has to sit for 24-72 hours! How is a cookie-loving gal such as myself supposed to wait it out like that?

Obviously, I'm only going to be able to hold out for the minimum 24 hours, but I'll report back as soon as I've done the proper research (aka, eaten a boatlod of cookies).

I'm also going to try rolling half of the dough into balls and freezing it, because as much as I'd love to OD on chocolate chip cookies, I think it's in my best interest to pace myself. Luckily, Pinterest supplied me with a how-to on that as well.

Happy holidays, from my blog to yours!

I can't even lie, y'all. I am checked out of blogging this Christmas. Work is busy gearing up for Heart Month in February (because I think January lasts maybe three hours and then BAM! Busiest time of the year) and I'm spending every spare second soaking up all the festivness one gal can (festiveness does equal that marshmallow-flavored vodka, right?). Plus, I've got my eyes on the prize: nine succulent days off between the holidays in which I'll be staying up late, eating lots of pizza and playing more (active) video games than any 9 year old on my street. And painting the trim in the living room, which is sure to be a par-tay and a half.

I haven't been posting much because honestly, the holidays are SO MUCH about tradition for me. We decorated the same and baked the same cookies and watched the same movies so it hardly seems worth it to rehash it all on this poor blog. If you want to see how I'm rollin' this Christmas, just check out last year's posts (minus all the body-wracking-sob-inducing stories of the basement reno (from Hell!)) and that about sums up not only this Christmas, but many before and many after.

One new thing I have this year is a gift to all of you.

Here it is:



And that my friends is what I call the beauty of the flippin' season.

Cookies you make when it's autumnal out-of-doors

First off, thank you readers for your thoughtful words on my last post. You are just the sweetest.

Second off, and speaking of sweets, I need to share with you this recipe, which came my way via Pinterest, which is the source of far too many outlandishly amazing fusion dessert ideas for this gal.

For instance: caramel apple cookies. Oh!

I tried unsuccessfully with three cookies to take photos beautiful enough to show you how delectable these gems are. My low success rate is due in part to my heavy reliance on a camera phone as well as the fact that, in actual life, these cookies looked too good to be merely admired and so I showed them the proper respect and ate them post haste.

For a more accurate visual account, please refer to the original recipe post, linked above in Paragraph Two.

For a more accurate digestive account, please make these cookies, microwave them for 8 seconds before consuming and report back.

Your urgency in this matter is appreciated.

What's cookin', good lookin'?

A few years ago, I was invited to a cookie exchange. All the other attendees were Wives With KitchenAids (so, cookie ganstas) and at the time, I was an apartment-dwelling non-cook, non-domestically inclined, non-Wife who mistakenly thought my cookie quality wouldn't matter and we'd all just have some wine.

I showed up with flat, pathetically gray and mealy raspberry cookies and only my sparkling social awkwardness to protect me.

I was not invited to another cookie exchange.

I vowed to someday make cookies that did not incite coos of, "Oh, they're finnnnnne. You triiiiiiied. Must have been a bad recipeeeeeee."

And so:

Sunday was all about baking for Hubs and I. We locked the cats in the bathroom (because "cat-hair" isn't really a cookie flavor I've come to love just yet), cracked open some Honker's Ale and went to town on some Christmas cookies.

Our plan was simple: recreate two family favorites and try one new thing.

The family favorite I bring to our new little familia is iced sugar cookies. They sound so simple - just get some slice-and-bakes (because from scratch was found to be an utter disaster in the Great Cookie Mess of '96) and whip up some powered sugar frosting and voila! Christmas is here for certain.

Not. So.

Of course, using cookie cutters waaaay more fun than slicing and baking. And no, one roll is not enough. And no, I'm not going to just slap some white icing on here and call it a day, where is your Christmas spirit?! These cookies should be lovingly slaved over for hours - your eyes should be numb from the intricate designs. And really, it doesn't matter because by the time the icing sets, the design will be all runny and your sweet "Hubs and Alexson 4-eva" cookie will start to look like a rather unsavory cartoon of some moose.

That's totally part of the tradition, though. I'm nothing without these little buggers at Christmas.

Hubs' family cookies are a little less dramatic, but no less tasty. For him, we made apricot and pecan kolaches. Last year, we bought the wrong brand of apricot filling and it almost ruined Christmas. Luckily, we found a can of the good stuff that looked like it might have been pulled from a Cold War-era bomb shelter and all is right with our little cookie universe.

And finally, we decided to make gingerbread men (only one lady among them and she isn't exactly dressed ladylike. See photo below). These we did from scratch with some good, spicy ginger from Penzey's. They turned out excellent and we dipped half in melted chocolate and the other half got the cream cheese frosting treatment.

When the day was done, we had been baking for nine hours and had about seven dozen cookies. Seven dozen cookies to be proud of. Seven dozen cookies we can bring to work and give to neighbors without shame. I'm the Eliza Doolittle of baking.


Move your bloomin' ass, indeed, 'Enry 'Iggins. I've come a long way!

What's crackin'

A few yummy/awesome/helpful things I've seen flitting about the blogs of late:

• This super cute (and cheap! and easy!) wreath made from coffee filters at Remodelaholic.
• Directions for a little pot of DIY lotion at Design Sponge. Sounds like a fun project!
• I'm not throwing any bridal showers, but if I was - this school cafeteria themed one from Offbeat Bride would be super fun. Whatever. It'd be fun for any party. Consider it on my list.
• Young House Love used these little shelves in their nursery, but I'm thinking they'd look lovely in the bathroom holding pretty soaps and DIY'd lotions.
• An easy way to upgrade plain tees and tanks, from Hey Jen Renee (who is a great knitting school marm, by the by)!
• I'm not a ham fan, as a rule, but this strawberry jam and ham sandwich from Tasty Kitchen piqued my interest. Plus, saying "jamandham" is fun and I'd like the excuse to say it more often.

What's catching your eye online these days?

P.S. Took my little theif to the vet and got good news! Where once I had a 19 lb. porker, I now have a slim and trim 16 lb. big-boned cat. His reduced diet is less reduced and I learned I can take him to the vet to get weighed for free (we don't own a scale, so Trip's weight loss was news to me).

PSA

Good morning!

While roaming the aisles of my Target yesterday, I dashed down the cookie aisle to grab something when I was stopped in my tracks.

source

TIM TAMS. Right in the cookie aisle of my very own Target. I think I might have cried a little at the sight.

For those unfamiliar, Tim Tams are delicious little Australian cookies so wonderful, so crispy and soft at the same time, that this little lady was magically able to increase her heftiness by a full 10lbs during a 6 month stint Down Under. Oh, Tim Tams, I missed you.

PS - For those of you who remember, I was nearing my wedding when I lapsed as a blogger. It was a perfect day that went off without a hitch (well, I guess technically one hitch. Get it? We got hitched...? Hardy har har). Here's to nearly two months of newlyweddedness!