Ask the Randoms!

Welcome, friends, to my very first edition of -

Ask!
The!
Randoms!

(You guys did all shout that out with me like they do when Wheel of Fortune starts, right? RIGHT?!)

Ask the Randoms will be a segment I'll whip out when I am particularly tickled, intrigued or concerned about the search terms random internet folk have used to find this little slice of heaven we call Bigger, Better, Best.

Today's question is legit. It comes from a random internet searcher who found this ol' blog by searching "will hostas choke out snow on the mountain" on May 24. 


That poor soul landed on my answer-less post about The Pit, wherein I ramble about the woeful state of the southeast corner of my estate and devise a plan to choke out all weeds with a cunning combination of hostas, daylillies and snow on the mountain. 


This random's question peaked my interest. So, I set out to find an actual answer, should said random return.


The articles I found called snow on the mountain an invasive species, which is fine for Pit coverage, but The Pit is rather near our neighbors' yards, so whenever they decide they've had enough of Pit life, we might have some issues. From what I've read, clipping off the flowering parts will help reduce seeding and since the neighbors' yards all touch The Pit with mow-able grass, they'd probably kill all the snow on the mountain with the mower anyway.


This forum discussion had a good perspective on how it behaves locally and this forum of hosta-crazed gardeners included pictures of everything I hope The Pit to be - sans all the little bootie planters. I'm just not a bootie plantin' kinda gal, I s'pose.


The ultimate answer I have in all my non-authority for this Gardening Random is - NO. Based on second-hand stories, snow on the mountain not only won't gobble up your hostas, but will actually be contained by them if the shade is dense enough.


It's been real fun. Join us next time for Ask the Randoms!

Why'd they spend all that time and money on their yard just to put THAT in it?

Ah, yes. I can hear the neighbors now, "They're putting that pool up again? Really? After all that work on the patio and deck? There goes the neighborhood."

Yes, the inflatable pool of dreams is back and better than ever. We had about one cubic yard of sand left over from the patio, so we moved it all to the pool area so that now, when you step in to our little swimmin' hole, your feet are cushioned by lots of sand and not stuck standing on hard mud.

Now, I know this isn't the most attractive yard ornament one can have, but guess what. We live in Iowa and an in-ground pool here does more to hurt property values that it helps. At the same time, though - it's HOT and here at the Home of Bigger, Better, Best, no kiddie pool or sprinkler will do. And with public pools basically being a place for the teenage contingent of the city to make out and squeal with arms raised when they actually get in the water while the rest of us try our damnedest to relax - just, no thank you. Further, homies be broke. Even if we had the $20,000 a proper in-ground pool would cost, we have a few other projects that would need to come first.

Maybe someday we'll have a lush, South Beach meets Des Moines pool, but for now - we're rollin' redneck.

Voracious varmit

We've always had a bird feeder on the deck. While we were under construction, it was put away but now it is back and our feathered friends couldn' be happier.

This guy is a familiar face, we call him Fathead.

He's a daredevil.

Much like Hubs and I, Fathead (and his wife, Mrs. Fathead, who we know by her skinnier tail) will go to any length for some deliciousness.

Fathead, you crazy.

Chicken fever

A lot of ladies in my world have the fever. Baby fever. Though I’ve dodged that bullet for the time being, I have sadly come down with another and entirely more disturbing illness: chicken fever.

People, I want backyard chickens so bad! I mean, it’s hilarious and tasty and totally in tune with the planet, man. Three things I love. Plus, I already have names picked out (shut up). Fresh eggs and clucking ladychickens wandering around our yard sounds delightful. Legally, you can have up to 30 backyard chickens in the city of Des Moines. I’m only talking about two measly chickens, here!

This plan is not without naysayers, though, hubs among them (though I’m pretty sure he can be persuaded by fresh and tasty omelets). Chickens are messy and loud and prone to being violently attacked by roaming predators (including one husky white feline who will remain anonymous). Still, I’m convinced the positives outweigh the negatives.

Do you know any chicken people? Do their neighbors hate them? Do they curse the day they brought a chicken home? Or are they super awesome and always smiling because their breakfasts are extra delicious?

The change of plans

This past weekend, it was what we call “nice” in Iowa in February – sunny and 30 with about two feet of snow still on the ground. So, hubs and I decided it was a great afternoon to take advantage of the snow and head out back to walk out plans for our paver patio.

We trudged back and forth through the snow, marking where the boundaries to the new patio would be, measured and came up with a few alternatives. Since we’re also planning on replacing the aging deck with something newer and more our style, we measured that too and headed out to Menards.

In their decking section, they have a super handy kiosk that lets you plan out your deck and then gives you a supply list and estimate for materials. It also makes really annoying thud noises anytime you press a button, but I guess that’s the price we pay for convenience.

So, we put in our deck plans and got a very pretty 3-D drawing and a very pretty price.

Naïve and energized by this, we moved forward and put our 23x25 paver patio stats in the magic machine. It spit out a kind of ugly drawing and a price that deflated our spirits. Not to mention, the materials list called for over 35 THOUSAND pounds of rock to plopped in our yard. Um, we’re all for DIY, but let’s be honest, laying 2,665 paver bricks was not how we planned on spending our summer. Apparently 23x25 is an absurd size for a paver patio. Bigger, better, best failed me again as a philosophy.

Our initial planning adventure does end on a happy note; hubs came home and pulled out graph paper and colored pencils and together, we crafted a pint-sized paver patio that will still suit our needs and won’t have us auctioning off our first-born or spending the rest of 2010 leveling and laying bricks. The revised plans call for a 25x12 patio with some curves, some benches and lots of perennial native plants and grasses.

With the Des Moines Home and Garden show coming up this weekend (yeah, we’re spending Valentine’s Day there!), we’re sure to find lots of good ideas to make the most of our new plans.