Deckstravaganza: All jacked up

Saturday, April 24, 2010

7:00 a.m. - We wake up to gorgeous weather and decide to get started on our ambitious plan to jackhammer the patio we found under the old deck before hoping on our bikes and heading to an alumni BBQ at Relays. The patio looks like this:

7:30 a.m. - We get the wrong order at McDonald's, but solider through. Our aim is steady and true for the Home Depot rental department.

8:00 a.m. - I get a tad antsy when the tool rental guy tries to make small talk after the clock has started ticking on our four-hour jackhammer rental. Time is money, sir! Yellow lights may have also been run during this time.

8:30 a.m. - Finally home, where we measure and draw chalk lines. It didn't take long, but I wish we had done this before we picked up the jack hammer. Time limits make me anxious, can you tell? The patio looks like this:

8:45 a.m. - Jack hammering begins. Hubs, who at first was skeptical of the plan to jack hammer all morning and booze all afternoon, is delighted to find that jackhammering is not the hellish torture he thought it would be. The patio looks like this:

9:00 a.m. - We discover rebar within this four inch patio. Sure, the deck was held together with old nails and no cement footing and one post was actually a collection of random 2x4s, but this patio was built to last. Go figure.

10:30 a.m. - We finish jack hammering the area we will need to drill our footings in. We decide to skip the extrasupercautioussafetypants footings in our original plan (that middle chalk line) and move on to jack hammering the stairs. Things are about to take a turn for the worse.

11:00 a.m. - We have made little progress on the stairs as they are some kind of supercement that refuses to budge. Then, just as we are about to give up and go cry into the big, refreshing glasses of water I didn't allow us to stop to enjoy (four hour rental! four hour rental!), hubs smashes through a huge chunk of stairs, beginning a chain reaction. The stairs soon look like this:

11:30 a.m. - The stairs are demolished and our foundation is still intact thanks to some sad pieces of plywood we had protecting the brick walls. Victory and ice water for all! Our aftermath looks like this:

11:31 a.m. - We cannot celebrate for long - we have to return the jackhammer. We look like this:

12:00 p.m. - The rental time safely done and our bill all settled, I chat with the tool rental guy. Turns out, he's a Drake alum as well and sorely missing Relays this year. Small world.

1:30 p.m. - Showered and empowered by the productive morning, we set off on our bikes to go to Drake.

2:00 p.m. - We are mocked for arriving on bikes, but hey - parking's a pain at Relays. We eat BBQ and begin the celebration of Relays. The sun is still shining.

4:00 p.m. - Clouds are taking over the sky and we realized we better head home. Just as we say that, the skies open up and unleash some serious rain.

4:05 p.m. - We crack open another beer and decide to wait out the storm.

5:00 p.m. - Rains subside and we hop back on our bikes to ride home. I realize my bike's brakes don't so much like working in the rain.

5:35 p.m. - Miraculously, we arrive home safe and sound.

8:00 p.m. - Bed time. We're old alumni who jack hammered a patio, what'd you expect?

With another double-header this coming weekend, I'm glad to say that home improvement and a social life can coexist. What's the most you've crammed into a day?